Sunday, August 26, 2007

another normal day...the best kind of all

"Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so. One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return."
-Mary Jean Iron
This quote is one of my favorites. It always gives me a bittersweet feeling. All four boys, Chris and I went to my parents home last night to eat dinner and play a little poker. Of course, with my poker playing skills, I lost my pile of chips immediately. This left Sawyer and I on the outskirts of the game as the rest of the boys, Chris, Papa and Nanny continued their pursuit of the $16 at stake. Sawyer was getting very sleepy so I bundled him up in a soft blanket and cuddled him in my lap on a rocker near the corner of the room. As I sat there holding my long 5 year old boy, the realization hit that it would be one of the last times this might happen. My heart leaped with anxious helplessness as I silently bid farewell to that "time" in my life. A small tear of appreciation for all I have experienced in raising 4 small boys touched the corner of my eye - before losing myself in my emotion I turned my attention to the game table. I listened to a roar of belly laughs arise in the favor of my father, and a sense of calm was present. A new phase is on the horizon. Each one of my children is manifesting into individual masterpieces. Seperately they have their own sense of style, humor, likes, dislikes, dreams, and personalities. All is well. I have put my heart and soul into them, and I see clearly that this does not go unappreciated. They are boys of substance - and they continue to be a source of true joy for so many. Much of my drama side would like to sit and mourn the days gone by, yet, the sensible side tells me to be extremely privy to the treasure of today. I do not wish for the return of the past, I wish to cherish each and every "normal day" that comes our way.

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